Once we knew for sure I was pregnant (I would say “we were pregnant”, but my husband is not pregnant. And my husband won’t give birth. So yes, this is OUR child, but I am the only one pregnant) I decided I wanted to go into this with a totally open mind and without taking on the experiences others have had. Almost everyone will want to tell you about their pregnancy horror story or how much bigger you’re going to get or how hard it is, etc. And I don’t want to go into my labor thinking about the 48 hour labor my cashier at the grocery store had. There is so much misinformation out there regarding pregnancy, labor and delivery-so naturally I want to do my own research and approach each of these beautiful, life changing moments exactly as they are. This is MY story, I don’t want anyone to read this and think that they are going to feel or think the same way. We are all different and each of us will have a unique pregnancy, labor and delivery. With that being said, here we go..
SO. MUCH. NAUSEA. That is the first thing that comes to mind when I think about the first trimester. Nausea, nausea and more nausea. And the hardest part about all of the nausea is that you can’t really tell people why you feel like shit all of the time. Mornings were the worst, but calling it “morning sickness” is the biggest load of crap I’ve ever heard because for me it was really "all-day sickness". Every time I had to get in an Uber to go to work at 5:30am I would pray to god that it wasn’t filled with air fresheners and that they wouldn’t drive like a complete psycho (it’s the little things). I was also dealing with a level of exhaustion that I have NEVER experienced in my life. I would drag my ass to work, teach my classes and then go right back home and lay in bed the rest of the day. I had no energy to workout and I’m sure that living off of a bread only diet didn’t exactly help my energy levels. I went from eating a plant-based diet full of fruits, veggies, legumes, nuts & seeds to eating almost exclusively bread. The idea of my favorite salad or smoothie made me want to barf. I became obsessed with finding the best vegan cream cheese and when I finally discovered Kite Hill Cream Cheese I was in heaven. Food aversions are extremely difficult to describe if you’ve never experienced them, the best way to imagine it is when you’re extremely hungover and the sight or smell of certain foods makes you want to hurl. Actually, I think that the first trimester of pregnancy can be described as one long 3-month hangover. Fun.
I had read that taking Vitamin B6 could help stave off nausea, so I started taking the recommended dose and definitely noticed that it got a little bit better. My sweet friend Rachel, who was one of the first people I told I was pregnant (she had two natural, un-medicated births and is just an overall incredible human being and mama) gave me this Zoe Organics Refresh Oil that is supposed to help with nausea and queasiness. I would put it on my wrists, roll it in my palms and take deep breaths which really helped me get through the mornings I had to work. She also sent me the Zoe Organics Belly Oil which I started using everyday around 13 weeks and absolutely love. Another one of my best friends, Brie (she is an incredible artist, you can check out her art here), brought me this beautiful care package with tons of lovely, organic pregnancy and postpartum teas, soaks and salts. Having good girlfriends in your corner that you know you can rely on helps make everything better, even first trimester nausea :) Towards the end of my first trimester, right around the 14-week point, my queasiness essentially disappeared and I became OBSESSED with the organic fresh pressed orange juice from Whole Foods. Only the Whole Foods brand that they press in store, no other brand has the same just-squeezed taste.
I also experienced severe sadness in the first trimester. I don’t want to call it depression, because I’m not sure what depression feels like, but I have never felt this type of despair in my life. My situation is a little unique, being that my mother who was also my best friend suddenly passed away weeks before we found out I was pregnant. To me, my Mom was god, she made the sun shine and the birds sing and I knew that she would always have an answer for everything. She gave me life, helped me get through life, and I fully expected her to be by my side as I became a mother myself. Sometimes thinking about going on this journey without her is extremely overwhelming, but then I remember that she is still with me all of the time. My sister was convinced that our baby would be a boy because she had a dream that my mom was holding and talking to a little boy, telling him all about life and preparing him for the world. I have no doubt that she was the first person to meet this new sweet soul and that she sent this perfect baby down to us. To say 2018 has been an emotional roller coaster would be an understatement, but I feel much more like myself again and I know that she gave me all of the tools and life skills to be an incredible mother just like she was.
Now that I’m in my second trimester, so much has changed and I can’t wait to share it with you all in my next pregnancy post. Please let me know if there are any pregnancy related topics you specifically want to read about or are interested in. I tried to put in everything that I could think of, but I’m sure I missed a few things.
P.S. It’s a boy :)