Sometimes people are mean. And sometimes people are mean for no fucking reason and it can be really confusing and saddening.
And people talk.
Which means when someone says something about you, it will usually get back to you.
This happened to me the other day.
And I tried to analyze it. Over analyze it. Why would they say that? What did I do that made them feel this way? How can I make them feel differently? It REALLY hurt my feelings when I heard the things being said (I think I was also PMS’ing, which didn’t help the situation), particularly because I can’t think of one damn thing I’ve done to make this person feel this way about me. I’ve had but a few conversations with them.
And why should I give a shit what they think about me? They barely know me for crying out loud, not to mention that, generally speaking, they have no impact on my life. It really shouldn't have bothered me. But it DID. It made me really sad, question myself, and feel vulnerable (and not in the good I'm-growing-so-it's-uncomfortable-but-I'll-learn-way). For a few minutes anyhow. Then I REALLY thought about it and realized, SO FUCKING WHAT.
And some people will say mean things about you because it makes them feel better about their own situation.
But thriving, healthy, happy adults don’t walk around trying to tear others down. And you know that old saying, "Only assholes say mean things about people they barely know”, uh wait a minute, that doesn't seem right..oh yeah, “What Susie says of Sally says more of Susie than of Sally”. It’s 1000000x true. The way people talk about others is a reflection of themselves and the way they see the world.
Not everyone is going to like you, and that is ok. You will always be too much while never being enough. But the good news is that if you stay true to yourself, be as kind to others as you possibly can, and live honestly, you won’t give a damn what they say (at least not for very long). You also get the opportunity to remember that for every person trying to break you down, there are 10 others building you up. People are inherently good. Yes, even that jerk talking smack, they too are inherently good, albeit not being very nice in the moment.
This fairly odd situation that we don’t run into often as adults also reminded me that I NEVER want to make someone else feel that way. I want to lift people up. I want to show people their potential. And I want to make people feel GOOD. Life is too fucking short to be an asshole.
The people that don’t like you aren’t your people so don’t worry about them. Wish them well, be kind regardless of their words or actions, and move on with your life. You will only waste your time and your energy trying to win them over (trust me, I tried that) and there are plenty of people in the world who will give you a chance before judging you.
So girl, get on with yo’ bad self and smile at the haters :)